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Post by Forever Sunshine on Sept 10, 2011 16:26:42 GMT -5
A place to openly discuss the issue of psychological disorders.
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Post by cvor on Oct 6, 2011 11:57:15 GMT -5
I think psychological disorders can be challenging to deal with.
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Post by fritz the cat on Oct 6, 2011 13:15:50 GMT -5
I think psychological disorders can be challenging to deal with. psychiatric disorders must be a nightmare to live with, i look in on martini's board now and then, it's not a good place to be for normal thinking people, i'm just glad i can look in here where everyone is as sane as me |
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Post by Spellbound454 on Oct 15, 2011 17:30:00 GMT -5
Sure.....  sorry, couldn't resist  |
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Post by Forever Sunshine on Oct 16, 2011 16:04:40 GMT -5
Who you calling sane? 
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Post by honey on Oct 19, 2011 20:27:21 GMT -5
I think psychological disorders can be challenging to deal with. psychiatric disorders must be a nightmare to live with, i look in on martini's board now and then, it's not a good place to be for normal thinking people, i'm just glad i can look in here where everyone is sane I agree ;D |
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Post by honey on Oct 19, 2011 20:28:14 GMT -5
Who you calling sane?
Love that smiley^^^^ |
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Post by beags on Oct 23, 2011 10:15:11 GMT -5
Sanity is a matter of opinion. I mean who can describe normal . . and where does the insanity line start? Is it someone who went out on a shooting spree? Is it someone who cries out for help and doesn't get it? Is it simply a person who is feeling down and gets nothing but ignorant responses from those who think they are normal?
Does it start with the normal person who is so filled with hate that they have to judge everyone?
Just which one is the sane person? I mean really, describe sane . . . and are any of us really sane when we think about it? We all have a little bit of insanity in us. Adrenaline junkies . . bungie cord jumping, sky diving, climbing tall towers or poles outside with nothing but a rope to save you to fix some wire, bomb experts, stuntmen/women etc . . . are they insane or sane? Some would say insane, others would say sane.
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Post by snerdley on Dec 22, 2011 20:01:06 GMT -5
Any issues you have to deal with the people around you? Anger issues, depression issues, ADD, etc?
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Post by femme on Dec 22, 2011 20:03:10 GMT -5
Hi Snerds...
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Post by snerdley on Dec 22, 2011 20:03:54 GMT -5
Hi Femme, i missed ya today!
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Post by femme on Dec 22, 2011 20:11:26 GMT -5
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Post by shirina on Dec 23, 2011 12:58:24 GMT -5
A truckload of issues, all coming from one person. I have done everything in my power to help, but I do have my own demons to fight, and I can't fight hers and mine at the same time. Plus I get nothing back in return - an emotional leech, as they say, not to mention a time leech, an energy leech, and most of all, a patience leech. Without serious and lengthy therapy with a well-trained professional, this person is a lost cause. I've never said that about anyone before, but there it is.
In the real world (off the board) I am well-known in my social circle as being someone to go to for advice. I mean advice, not a "there, there" and a gentle pat. I'm pragmatic and brutally honest, and I say as much before I offer any advice; I literally give a warning and then allow them to back out before they say a word.
Great. Wonderful. Sure, it wins you a lot of respect. But over time, it seems as if you end up with an entire solar system of dysfunctional people orbiting around you, and your own life becomes subsumed in their own issues. It's really made me cynical for my age ... and it has aged me beyond my years. Even my own mother comes to me for advice. Shouldn't it be the other way around?!
I'll go growl and hiss in the corner now. Merry Christmas and whatnot (sorry, I'm even cynical about Christmas, and the fact that I AM cynical about Christmas has made me even more cynical - it's an effing nightmare!)
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Post by snerdley on Dec 28, 2011 6:58:04 GMT -5
Why do you need to be brutally honesty?
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Post by shirina on Dec 28, 2011 12:42:39 GMT -5
Because, Snerdley, sometimes that is what they need. I've found that 9 times out of 10, my brutal honesty involves things these people were already aware of on some level, but they needed confirmation from an uninvolved person. I provide that, and with all the people I've "counseled" over the years - which are quite a few - no one has ever gotten angry with me for telling it as I see it. By far, most were quite grateful.
As I said, I warn everyone seeking advice on weighty issues that I plan to be openly honest. Now, when I say I'm "brutally" honest, I don't mean that I'm nasty to them. I mean that I'm not going to hold anything back. Even if I think my advice might hurt them or even if I have to say they are dead-bang wrong, I plan to say so.
I am very diplomatic with my advice-giving. I'm not an unsympathetic jackass even while being "brutal." Like I said, no one has ever gotten angry with me, and no one has ever refused listening to my advice even after the warning.
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Post by snerdley on Dec 28, 2011 12:45:03 GMT -5
Why is it up to you to decide what someone else needs? If they are seeking your advice and opinion, fine. But, i know people who say "they are just being honest" as an excuse to hurt people, lambaste or insult. Not saying you are doing that, but i am sure you see my point. And, sometimes, honesty doesn't work anyway and you know that. How many times have you been brutally honest and they are still gonna do what they are gonna do? Usually people already know the truth anyway. Not slamming ya, just making a few points that's all.
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Post by Spellbound454 on Dec 28, 2011 13:09:38 GMT -5
If someone comes to you for advice..... you can just tell them what you think then back off and leave it up to them.
Some people may like to use you as a sounding board to sort their own things out.
I don't think you can help by actually telling people what to do. They just need to be able to examine all the options.
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Post by shirina on Dec 28, 2011 14:02:49 GMT -5
Because they ASKED for my advice, Snerd. But in all seriousness, I really don't have to justify what I do to anyone, especially not here. What I do know for certain is that people keep coming back to me. Hell, I've even had the parents of my friends call me and thank me for the improvements they've seen in their kids - ostensibly due to my counseling. Now, I freely admit I'm probably being given more credit than is deserved, but the point here is that what I do and how I do it seems to generate favorable results.
In fact, it was TOO favorable. These days I only "counsel" close friends. I put up the "Doctor is Out" sign awhile ago because I couldn't deal with 4am phone calls, people inviting me to places under false pretenses (just so they could get advice), or being hauled away from parties to some quiet spot to "talk." It became too much of a drain, especially after the problems they were having became more serious.
One simply does not get that kind of a response if I'm overstepping my bounds.
Yes, that is true. But that's not what I do ... so I'm not sure why you brought it up. Just because someone abuses the technique does not mean the technique is invalid.
Again, you're right. But there is no way to know if it will work if no one tries it.
Dozens? Hundreds, perhaps? I'm by no means a professional. Often, I have thought they should seek out a professional. I can only do so much. No one is under any obligation to heed my advice (something else I always tell them), and sometimes they don't. I take no umbrage with those who go their own way contrary to what I think - it's their life, after all, and I'm not there to control it.
I know, Snerds, and you're not wrong. I've found that many do already know the truth, but they're looking for validation. I can usually tell the difference between someone seeking validation and someone seeking advice and I handle both types differently.
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Post by shirina on Dec 28, 2011 14:14:28 GMT -5
Which is precisely what I do, Spell. In fact, many of the people I've "counseled" aren't even people I know very well - or even at all. I can only assume they came to me because someone else said they should. I certainly don't advertise and they would have no reason to seek me out otherwise. The point though is that many of these people are only in my life long enough for me to "counsel" them and off they go. By and large, I don't know what they do afterwards unless I pick something up from the grapevine.
Remember, they come to me ... I don't go to them. I have no idea why they do. I really don't. I've even been approached by total strangers. For instance, I spent a long night sitting in a woman's car as she sought help with a marital issue - and I had never laid eyes on her before. She literally picked me out of a crowd, and to this day I have no idea why. After that, I never saw her again.
Yep, you're absolutely correct. I let them do most of the talking. Sometimes they talk it through themselves and I don't have to say much of anything at all.
All I can say to that is people wouldn't keep coming back to me if something I did wasn't helping on some level. I don't order people around, but if someone wants advice on "what to do" then I tell them what I think they should do - or what I would do in that situation. I leave it up to them to accept or decline the suggestion.
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moxie
Not so new Crapster
SF Shades of Blues
Posts: 205
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Post by moxie on Dec 28, 2011 14:59:13 GMT -5
My name is NOT Sybil!!   |
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© 2011 -- 
Crap, the Name Escapes Me 
