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Post by Shirina on Jul 23, 2012 6:23:06 GMT -5
;D
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Post by carpenter on Jul 23, 2012 7:29:36 GMT -5
I'm Greg, I'm a carpenter out of the Ft. Worth area. I can't agree with your behavior Tosh, but its still funny
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Post by tosh on Jul 23, 2012 7:34:21 GMT -5
Greg, One of my relatives died for you at the Alamo, I am Scottish, you owe me one.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:36:07 GMT -5
Quote from robinpa:
She is not someone I would call a friend since in all the time I have known her she has always been mean spirited and judgmental of others. I generally steer clear of her due to her attitude but she has a tendency to treat a couple of my friends with outright contempt and hate. Which quite often brings me into the situations because I have a strong tendency to defend my friends. She is very quick to judge them both negatively and at the same time the majority of things she will either accuse them of or look down on them for are things she herself does.
Um, OK. here's the point i am at for reading your LONG post. But, based on this part, i have a feeling YOU are now going to sit in judgement of HER when you say you are not "judgemental", THOU HYPOCRITE! ;D
But, i was just taking a break so i will read on and report back later.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:37:55 GMT -5
OK, i finished the "first example". Sounds like you are gossiping about her gossiping. Whatever. If you don't like her , ignore her. What is the big deal?
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:38:47 GMT -5
Quote: yeah I speak up and generally what I have to say about it isnt very pleasant. And, that makes you different from her , HOW?
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:42:12 GMT -5
Quote:
This is in referrence to someone who I used to consider a friend but have since demoted her to aquaintance.
You "demote" your friends when they have difficulties? She is going through a bad marriage as you said yourself. I don't "demote" my friends. A true friend is the one walking in when the rest of the world walks out. I don't dump my friends. Sometimes my friends act poorly or in ways i don't like. I try to be there to help them through.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:43:24 GMT -5
Quote from robinpa: "During this last year or so she and her hubby decided they wanted to adopt a child, but then opted to foster one. So they ended up getting a young girl to foster. This troubled me from the beginning ....."
Why should it trouble YOU? What business is it of yours anyway? None.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:49:01 GMT -5
Quote: "The hypocrisy in all of this is first that my former friend has always preached about how parents should parent and not try and be their child's friend and now she cant seem to work up the nerve to actually step up to the plate and be a parent..""
First, you obviously don't think much of your relationship with friends to dump then from your friend list whenever they don't live according to your standards. Second, people under stress in bad relationships often have changes in their personality, moods, whatever as they are trying to find a way to live with such conflict. And, making bad decisions sometimes is part of that. Bringing in a foster child may have been ill advised but she may have been doing so out of a desperate need to save her marriage, feel loved or whatever. No matter, you certainly don't have much empathy for your friend. And as for life, there have been times in my life where "i knew how something should be handled", aka parenting and then had my foot in my mouth after i had my own kids. Sounds simple to you but you are not in their shoes.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:50:24 GMT -5
I find that others who call others "hypocrites" always seem to do so with an air of superiority. Actually, i find it kind of hilarious and i will step up and say "YES! I am a Hypocrite! as well because we all are in some area of our lives.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:51:34 GMT -5
Quote from robinpa: "I once had 2 step daughters ..." And, now you are the expert on parenting! Write a book!
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:53:24 GMT -5
Quote from robinpa: " the hypocrisy here is that instead of focusing on her own life and doing what she has to do to try and put her own house in order, she is now becoming more and more involved in what everyone else has got going on their lives. Lately she has been very vocal to other people around her about how they should live and how they should do things ...."
Um, reread the above several times, and um, apply it to yourself.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:56:04 GMT -5
Quote from robinpa: "I dont mind a little hypocrisy, as I said everyone is guilty of it, including me. But the key I think is moderation" Oh , i see. And, of course you are the one who determines what moderation is and when it becomes extreme? A wise man once said something about focusing on your own life and getting your own life in order.
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Post by fuzzyems on Jul 23, 2012 7:58:48 GMT -5
Quote from robinpa: "The part that gives me a case of the proverbial red @ss is when people judge others for how they live, how they feel, or even how they act, when all the while they are either guilty of all the things they preach against or guilty of worse things. " So glad you aren't judging your Demoted friends! As for "say one thing and do another" um, i have yet to actually meet a person on the planet who doesn't do this one way or another. We tend to look at our others through magnifying glasses and ourselves through rose colored glasses. Physician, Heal thyself and cast the beam out of your own eye.
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Post by Shirina on Jul 23, 2012 8:37:05 GMT -5
Uhm, Fuzzy, you're missing one crucial detail in your many posts.
Robinpa is not going to these people and demanding that they modify their behavior. Therein is where the real hypocrisy lies.
I've seen your argument before and it makes no sense. It would be like saying a murderer has no right to stop another murderer from killing someone because the murderer would be a hypocrite if he did so.
I mean, we could pursue this point round and round like a dog chasing his tail. So robinpa's friend is a hypocrite, making robinpa a hypocrite for pointing out her hypocrisy and now you're being a hypocrite for pointing out robinpa's hypocrisy for pointing out his friend's hypocrisy ... and on it goes ad infinitum.
And where is the dividing line between a statement of fact and gossip? Well, what I see robinpa doing is simply stating the facts as he perceives them, not gossiping.
Gossip has a self-centered motive; it is a method of seizing control of a conversation so that all attention is focused on you. Knowing something that others do not is power, and gossip is a way to exercise that power. In addition, gossip almost never has any context. Unlike robinpa's examples, which are couched in the larger issue regarding hypocrisy in general, gossip is just blurted information that has no purpose aside from simply "knowing." It would be as though I came up to and said, for no apparent reason, "Did you know that Mark Twain trimmed his mustache with a butcher knife? Yep, it's true." Gossip is banal and trivial whereas using examples in a broader context is not, and that is why robinpa's first post is not an example of hypocrisy or gossip.
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Post by tosh on Jul 23, 2012 8:37:17 GMT -5
I thought the original post was a short novel, your reply is bordering on War and Peace. TLDR. ;D
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Post by Shirina on Jul 23, 2012 8:40:59 GMT -5
I suppose if you're used to reading little more than the sides of cereal boxes, robinpa's post was long. If lots of words scare you off, perhaps robinpa could sketch a crayon drawing instead?
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Post by carpenter on Jul 23, 2012 8:41:57 GMT -5
No shit Tosh. Almost makes me want to take up smoking.
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Post by carpenter on Jul 23, 2012 8:42:37 GMT -5
I suppose if you're used to reading little more than the sides of cereal boxes, robinpa's post was long. If lots of words scare you off, perhaps robinpa could sketch a crayon drawing instead? Could he?
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Post by tosh on Jul 23, 2012 8:52:29 GMT -5
ouch !! Love you more.
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