Here's the email I sent my older brother, Gordon ( Dordie ) detailing how it all came about....Apologies to anyone upset by the explanation and description......
Hi Dordie,
Here, I have pieced together for you the sequence of events as I reported them, AS THEY HAPPENED, in emails to people...amended slightly for you now but otherwise written as the events unfolded...hopefuly it's a pretty comprehensive personal account of what happened.....
FRIDAY MORNING 25th MAY 2012
Mini crisis here unfortunately....Mum tried to get to the loo without her slippers on at 3 am and woke up my sis ( who sleeps on the same floor just down the landing ) who found her totally disorientated and trying to walk THROUGH her chest of drawers....
Mum wouldn't respond to my sister's questions and before Barbara could get Mum onto the commode we keep in her room...mum's legs gave way and she slumped to the floor....
I heard B's scream for help and raced down to assist....it LOOKED as if Mum had had a stroke...the whole left side of her face had dropped and she just about managed a mutter.....
Healing hands Malc took over.....constantly talking soothingly to her, I held her head and did my stuff......We then got a large bath sheet rolled up and UNDER her arms to lift her onto a chair....Mum couldn't plant her feet down and B and I, after several attempts, increasingly SWEATY attempts, got her onto a chair......immediately she slumped to her side but a pillow jammed down one side of it kept her more or less upright....
Her face was back to normal now and she could clearly speak...albeit in a very tired way....
The next job was to cool her down ( we have since found out that she suffered a Heatstroke as have many older people in the area following this incredibly HOT weather )
Cold flannels on her brow and cold water to her lips brought her round even more...thank God !
And a small piece of Dairy Milk improved her scary condition....that and sips of tea.....
To cut this story short, we got Mum back onto her bed, me placing her in the Recovery Position after we changed her pads/pants and plastic knickers...
By now an hour and a half had flown by and B was desperate to get back to her bed as she is soooooo busy at her work especially with the imminent opening of a brand NEW shop in the local area .....it's ALL go with her !!
I stayed with Mum, keeping her brow cool, switching on the Fan to cool the air and throwing open the windows....she vomited up green and black bile but I cleaned everything up as quietly as I could so that B could get her much needed shut eye....
After visiting the Dr this morning, it's THERE where I found out about the other elderly victims of this heatwave.....
Keeping her cool and hydrated is the priority now and let her sleep ( which she has been doing THROUGHOUT today......)
I am loathe to get her into Hospital but commonsense dictates that she MUST keep hydrated....
Ah well....there you go...
I have finally come up to my own bedroom to get some sleep myself for a short time before heading back downstairs to sit with Mum....I fell asleep for a while this afternoon and woke with such a start and BOY did my neck ache !!!!!
SATURDAY 26th MAY 2012
I'm afraid to say that around 04:30am Barbara screamed for me......
Mum had vomited copious amounts of green and black bile all over the bed and was choking on it too.....I stuck my fingers into her mouth to dislodge any there whilst Barbara frantically kept shouting out " Breathe Mum...BREATHE !! "
I covered Mum's nose with my mouth and sucked a mouthful of the bile out and spat it into the bowl we had left by her.......
She suddenly sucked in air, God Bless her !! Barbara took over the mouth to mouth as I rang 999.....
One lone medic arrived and just bent over her shouting " CLARA....CLARA.....!!! " It must have taken him 90 seconds before he spoke into his Walkie Talkie " Code Red...This is HOT, HOT, HOT ! "
And within 5 minutes an Ambulance arrived....Oxygen was literally pumped into her via one of those Bladder bags and face masks......
B went with the Ambulance. I followed in my JEEP......arriving at 06:22am
A CT scan showed that Mum had suffered an irrepairable Brain Haemorrhage..a massive bleed, putting pressure onto her brain and, basically.....finishing her off....no electrical brain activity, no response to retina and iris stimulation....Mum was effectively dead......
Their was a short discussion re Organ and Tissue donation but then the Doctor returned saying it was a no considering all of her Medical History......nothing would be viable.
After lots of kissing of her hands and face and whispered loving words....we agreed with the Doctor to remove the artificial breathing apparatus...the end could take minutes or up to days....
It was minutes.......
B and I are of the belief that what we were with was just the shell of Mum.....the physical carcass....her spirit had gone and was now with HER mum and family and our Dad...Douglas
At 09:24am a Doctor checked her pulses, breathing and declared Mum dead...... ( 12.01.1923 - 26.05.2012 ) 89 years 4 and a half months.....
After some more kisses and soft words...B removed Mum's wedding ring and I have it on right now.......B and I gave and got all the information needed and left......
We grabbed a bite to eat but neither of us are really with it.....we came home and B has gone off to work...she HAD to...and I am up here on my bed just about to get some much needed sleep.
We have contacted a host of people and now we have to deal with others grief too......
MONDAY 28th MAY 2012
The last two days have been spent contacting so many various people, relatives, friends, official bodies etc etc and responding to the tidal wave of support and love from so many.
Spontaneous Intraventricular Cerebral Haemorrhage was the cause....basically a sudden explosion of blood which flooded the brain putting critical pressure ON the brain and causing death.....Barbara and I are of the opinion that when Mum got up to go to the loo early Friday morning THAT was the moment the " event " happened.....she was able to remain coherent soon after, even after we got her back to bed and a few hours later when Barbara went into her bedroom and asked her in the morning if she wanted a cuppa tea...she answered with a " Yes "......
But the Haemorrhage was claiming her and she shut down soon after....
Previous illnesses would always result in Mum sleeping to help the recuperation so it was no different as far as we were concerned.....
I told her I was nipping out to the Doctors to collect some medication from the Pharmacy and was told that others had fallen victim to the recent hot weather and to just keep Mum cool and hydrated.
I spent that day wetting her lips and wiping her brow and TALKED to her...not expecting a response but I've always done it when she's been poorly and I've sat with her........but when B came home that evening and heard that Mum had not even roused we decided that a Doctor would be called first thing on Saturday morning...
The rest...you know...
Forgive me for writing all that but I needed to get it all down before time clouds the facts and become poor memories....
Today we had an appointment with a local Funeral Director and both B and I are content and comfortable with them handling things for us taking on all our requests.....
The cremation will be at 2:15PM on Thursday 14th June 2012.... at BRETBY CREMATORIUM, BRETBY..... Red rose ( More details to follow )
B feels as if Mum is no longer IN the house....for me it's the COMPLETE opposite......now you may or may not believe this but I feel as if Mum is INSIDE me....every step I take she is with me...I'm not talking about bizarre things like " possession " !!...but in every cell of my body I feel her warmth......Oh I believe her spirit has gone to be with Dad and her own Mum and family but it's as if...... when I was stroking her face, cradling her head and kissing her cheeks....part of her " transferred " to me.....
I KNOW how daft that may seem.......but Barbara, and I hope YOU understand and that's good enough for me....
.......one more thing.....Barbara said this to me last night.......( this is HER, Barbara, talking ) :
" When they ( the doctor/nurse ) removed the tubes out of Mum's mouth and we were allowed to go back to see her....you stood up by her head talking to that nurse, Maria, when Mum slowly turned her head slightly towards your voice and her eyes fluttered.....I looked at Maria and she quietly said " That's perfectly natural but doesn't MEAN anything..it's just an involuntary muscular action"....but Mac....to me it's as if in those last few seconds she could HEAR your voice !!! "
It's very comforting to know that Mum KNEW she wasn't alone IF she DID hear me.........
Commonsense says the Nurse was probably correct.....
.....but......
I'll leave it there.
So...there you go Dordie....thanks for reading all of this.....the next thing is I'm expecting a call from the Coroner's Office today ( Tuesday 29th ) to go collect the Death Certificate ...B asked me to tell her when that call comes in so she can come with me to collect it and then go to the Town Hall to Register the death......
...and DON'T WORRY.....I'll ensure that we have plenty of extra copies !!
There's soooo much going on here...THAT'S why it's a blessed relief for me in the quiet of the night to organise all my thoughts and prepare for the days ahead...
Anything you want to talk about.....I'm here.....and I WILL give you updates.....
But for now...Nighty night Big Brother, HUUUUGE KISSY HUGS
and lots of love to Hilary....
Malcie xxx
So...there you have it and thankyou for taking the time to read it...
© 2011 -- 
Crap, the Name Escapes Me 
