Post by robinpa on Jul 22, 2012 1:43:01 GMT -5
Not sure if this should have its own thread or not, its just sort of a rant/observation. FS or any other mod here please feel free to move this if it doesnt belong here. Or please feel free to delete this if it is viewed as offensive or inflammatory, even though I do not mean it that way. It seemed too specific to be put in the thoughts and meanderings topic.
Hypocrisy is something I think all of us are guilty of from time to time, and I admit to being guilty of it myself. My hypocrisy tends to come out whenever I am giving advice about certain paths in life not to take, when I didnt take said advice early on in my life when I should have. But its more of a standpoint of please dont screw up and make the mistakes I did kind of thing. For the majority of us thats how our hypocrisy in my opinion manifests itself. But the problem is when that hypocrisy becomes a way of life for some people. Lately I have been seeing a lot of it, in the real world and in some places online. NOT HERE though. Things seem pretty balanced here which is why I have decided to post this here. My first example that I am going to referrence is a woman I have known for a while now at another forum which I will not name. She is not someone I would call a friend since in all the time I have known her she has always been mean spirited and judgmental of others. I generally steer clear of her due to her attitude but she has a tendency to treat a couple of my friends with outright contempt and hate. Which quite often brings me into the situations because I have a strong tendency to defend my friends. She is very quick to judge them both negatively and at the same time the majority of things she will either accuse them of or look down on them for are things she herself does. Hence the hypocrisy. Recently she was caught in a brazen lie, without giving the details of it in the interest of not divulging personal information about her, I will say that it was obvious and quite ignorant. The other thing that has recently come to my attention is her gossiping behind the backs of myself and my friends through pming others there. A couple people have mentioned and forwarded some of the offending pms to me and my friends in which this woman has been saying nasty things. Now online bs happens quite a bit and most of it is nonsensical and irrelevant to me and I tend to ignore it. Anyone that spent anytime at msn lifestyle boards before they closed down earned a thick skin from all the abuse that went on there.
My point is though, the hypocrisy behind it. I can actually forgive and even understand if someone is just cold or mean as a rule. But when that person is that way and then has the nerve to judge others for things that they themselves are guilty of or while they are guilty of worse things, then yeah I speak up and generally what I have to say about it isnt very pleasant.
Now for my second example. This is in referrence to someone who I used to consider a friend but have since demoted her to aquaintance. The woman in question in this second example has been with her husband for a while and the last couple of years their marriage has been on the rocks. Now I used to have quite a bit of respect for both of them, most especially the woman because I was friends with her. I admired her strength and her ability to stand up to any challange. However at some point this woman has somehow lost her mind it seems or maybe I have just missed some pod person invasion and some alien has taken over her life and just looks and sounds like her. I dont know which. At some point in the midst of their relationship troubles her personality changed from the friend I knew and respected and became this hateful angry woman, who seems to enjoy picking at people around her, sometimes even me. Now I have on occasion in the past stood up for her when others have picked at her, a fact she seems to now be forgetting. She is bipolar though and being off her meds or changing them could account for her nasty and erratic behavior. So that could be why her personality has so radically changed for the worse these past months.
During this last year or so she and her hubby decided they wanted to adopt a child but could not due to her mental illness. They then opted to foster one, which somehow was allowed for them to do when adoption wasnt. I still have trouble figuring out how that works. So they ended up getting a young girl to foster. This troubled me from the beginning because the way I think is if your relationship isnt stable and you then bring a child into the mix, especially a foster child who is old enough to understand there is trouble in the home, it spells disaster. Well as much as I wish my prediction of trouble for them wasnt on the money, it turned out I was right. Because not only are they having the same troubles with their marriage only worse, but now they are having troubles with the foster child too.
Recently the foster child has been stealing. As if that wasnt bad enough, the woman, who was always an advocate of proper parenting and of being firm with a child when need be, has now become fairly weak willed in the face of the obvious problems with the foster child. She says she is punishing the child and trying to take steps to remedy the behavioral issues but her punishments have no teeth, metaphorically speaking. Now I am not perfect nor do I have the user's manual on parenting. I once had 2 step daughters and the oldest was 13 when I got with my ex wife, so I understand the trouble of becoming a parent all of a sudden to an older child that isnt your biological own, but I also understand the need to set clear boundaries for a child and stick to those boundaries. The hypocrisy in all of this is first that my former friend has always preached about how parents should parent and not try and be their child's friend and now she cant seem to work up the nerve to actually step up to the plate and be a parent. The second part of the hypocrisy here is that instead of focusing on her own life and doing what she has to do to try and put her own house in order, she is now becoming more and more involved in what everyone else has got going on their lives. The third part of the hypocrisy here is that this woman has the nerve to be mean and nasty to people all around her but yet cant seem to work up enough nerve to actually discipline the foster child. Lately she has been very vocal to other people around her about how they should live and how they should do things all the while her house is falling apart.
I dont mind a little hypocrisy, as I said everyone is guilty of it, including me. But the key I think is moderation, just like anything else. When anything is taken to the extreme then it becomes a problem. Hypocrisy in my opinion is no different. The part that gives me a case of the proverbial red @ss is when people judge others for how they live, how they feel, or even how they act, when all the while they are either guilty of all the things they preach against or guilty of worse things. Ok rant over, I hope this wasnt offensive to anyone. What do my fellow crap board members think? How do you deal with people like the 2 I referenced?
Hypocrisy is something I think all of us are guilty of from time to time, and I admit to being guilty of it myself. My hypocrisy tends to come out whenever I am giving advice about certain paths in life not to take, when I didnt take said advice early on in my life when I should have. But its more of a standpoint of please dont screw up and make the mistakes I did kind of thing. For the majority of us thats how our hypocrisy in my opinion manifests itself. But the problem is when that hypocrisy becomes a way of life for some people. Lately I have been seeing a lot of it, in the real world and in some places online. NOT HERE though. Things seem pretty balanced here which is why I have decided to post this here. My first example that I am going to referrence is a woman I have known for a while now at another forum which I will not name. She is not someone I would call a friend since in all the time I have known her she has always been mean spirited and judgmental of others. I generally steer clear of her due to her attitude but she has a tendency to treat a couple of my friends with outright contempt and hate. Which quite often brings me into the situations because I have a strong tendency to defend my friends. She is very quick to judge them both negatively and at the same time the majority of things she will either accuse them of or look down on them for are things she herself does. Hence the hypocrisy. Recently she was caught in a brazen lie, without giving the details of it in the interest of not divulging personal information about her, I will say that it was obvious and quite ignorant. The other thing that has recently come to my attention is her gossiping behind the backs of myself and my friends through pming others there. A couple people have mentioned and forwarded some of the offending pms to me and my friends in which this woman has been saying nasty things. Now online bs happens quite a bit and most of it is nonsensical and irrelevant to me and I tend to ignore it. Anyone that spent anytime at msn lifestyle boards before they closed down earned a thick skin from all the abuse that went on there.
My point is though, the hypocrisy behind it. I can actually forgive and even understand if someone is just cold or mean as a rule. But when that person is that way and then has the nerve to judge others for things that they themselves are guilty of or while they are guilty of worse things, then yeah I speak up and generally what I have to say about it isnt very pleasant.
Now for my second example. This is in referrence to someone who I used to consider a friend but have since demoted her to aquaintance. The woman in question in this second example has been with her husband for a while and the last couple of years their marriage has been on the rocks. Now I used to have quite a bit of respect for both of them, most especially the woman because I was friends with her. I admired her strength and her ability to stand up to any challange. However at some point this woman has somehow lost her mind it seems or maybe I have just missed some pod person invasion and some alien has taken over her life and just looks and sounds like her. I dont know which. At some point in the midst of their relationship troubles her personality changed from the friend I knew and respected and became this hateful angry woman, who seems to enjoy picking at people around her, sometimes even me. Now I have on occasion in the past stood up for her when others have picked at her, a fact she seems to now be forgetting. She is bipolar though and being off her meds or changing them could account for her nasty and erratic behavior. So that could be why her personality has so radically changed for the worse these past months.
During this last year or so she and her hubby decided they wanted to adopt a child but could not due to her mental illness. They then opted to foster one, which somehow was allowed for them to do when adoption wasnt. I still have trouble figuring out how that works. So they ended up getting a young girl to foster. This troubled me from the beginning because the way I think is if your relationship isnt stable and you then bring a child into the mix, especially a foster child who is old enough to understand there is trouble in the home, it spells disaster. Well as much as I wish my prediction of trouble for them wasnt on the money, it turned out I was right. Because not only are they having the same troubles with their marriage only worse, but now they are having troubles with the foster child too.
Recently the foster child has been stealing. As if that wasnt bad enough, the woman, who was always an advocate of proper parenting and of being firm with a child when need be, has now become fairly weak willed in the face of the obvious problems with the foster child. She says she is punishing the child and trying to take steps to remedy the behavioral issues but her punishments have no teeth, metaphorically speaking. Now I am not perfect nor do I have the user's manual on parenting. I once had 2 step daughters and the oldest was 13 when I got with my ex wife, so I understand the trouble of becoming a parent all of a sudden to an older child that isnt your biological own, but I also understand the need to set clear boundaries for a child and stick to those boundaries. The hypocrisy in all of this is first that my former friend has always preached about how parents should parent and not try and be their child's friend and now she cant seem to work up the nerve to actually step up to the plate and be a parent. The second part of the hypocrisy here is that instead of focusing on her own life and doing what she has to do to try and put her own house in order, she is now becoming more and more involved in what everyone else has got going on their lives. The third part of the hypocrisy here is that this woman has the nerve to be mean and nasty to people all around her but yet cant seem to work up enough nerve to actually discipline the foster child. Lately she has been very vocal to other people around her about how they should live and how they should do things all the while her house is falling apart.
I dont mind a little hypocrisy, as I said everyone is guilty of it, including me. But the key I think is moderation, just like anything else. When anything is taken to the extreme then it becomes a problem. Hypocrisy in my opinion is no different. The part that gives me a case of the proverbial red @ss is when people judge others for how they live, how they feel, or even how they act, when all the while they are either guilty of all the things they preach against or guilty of worse things. Ok rant over, I hope this wasnt offensive to anyone. What do my fellow crap board members think? How do you deal with people like the 2 I referenced?